What is people pleasing?
People pleasing is the preoccupation with the approval of others - often at your own expense.
When we suffer from habitual or the uncontrollable need to please everyone all the time, we can lose ourselves.
It can create an unsustainable need to feel “liked” all the time, which affects our actions, our motivations, and our thoughts.
It can make you feel very alone, especially because you can be fully yourself - all aspects of yourself - with those you love.
i can help.
What does people-pleasing look like?
Habitual people-pleasing can manifest itself in a number of ways, including:
saying yes when you really mean no
putting others needs ahead of your own
going out of your way to make others happy
being the one everyone comes to for help
ignoring your needs and wants
being clearer about others than yourself
feeling invisible
not having your needs met
falling into codependent relationships
always being described as “nice”
I can help you break the cycle!
What causes the need to always please?
Compulsive people-pleasing can stem from a number of things, including:
feeling inadequate
convinced others disapprove of you
fear of being rejected or abandoned
fear of coming across as “mean”
relying on others to define your self-worth
overdeveloped sense of personal responsibility
neglecting own needs & wants
low self-esteem & confidence
When you feel the constant pull towards pleasing everyone, all the time, it becomes far too easy to lose yourself. You may feel tired of trying to be all things to all people - all the time. You struggle with speaking up, but are afraid to turn others against you or, worse, come across as mean and unaccommodating.
Sometimes, you get a jolt of pleasure out of pleasing others - knowing that you were responsible for that happiness - but it leaves you drained in the long-run.
But you also rarely speak up for what you truly want. You think they should “innately know” you - after all, look at everything you do for them! Ugh. Now you feel resentful!
When we work together, I offer you empathy and compassion in a non-judgmental therapy setting. We will learn why you feel the way you do, and we will develop your tools to help you cope better and more productively. I promise you, there is light at the end of the dark tunnel.
No matter the cause, I can help.
how does therapy for habitual people pleasing work?
We’ll start by working to understand where your need to always please stems from and what role it plays in your life. I’ll support and guide you on journey of self-discovery, self-compassion, and self-acceptance, while providing tools to embrace the “real you.”
You’ll learn practical tools to help you:
define your wants
make yourself your priority
find your voice
determine your needs within relationships
express yourself
create your ideal life
ready to embrace yourself with compassion and feel joy?
feeling the need to please is exhausting!
I work with women experiencing exactly what you are right now.
You’re not alone.
Suffering from habitual people-pleasing tendencies can stop you from growing, learning, and truly loving yourself. Learn to treat yourself with empathy and compassion. I can help you.
YOU can find joy again!
Life JOY Therapy specializes in treating professional women in Ontario with issues that are affecting their quality of life, productivity, relationships, and feelings of self-worth. Founder Jennifer Bartok offers an attachment-oriented experiential approach to therapy based on your own humanistic experiences making each and every session custom-tailored to you and your needs. She draws from her expertise in Emotionally-Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) that uses our biological needs of attachment to understand our emotions, reactions within relationships and helps clients experience the impact that their emotions have on their life and ways to change. She holds multiple credentials and certificates. Read more about Jennifer here.
