Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) in Toronto and Across Ontario

What is EFIT?

EFIT is the individual form of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the approach Dr. Sue Johnson developed for couples. It rests on attachment science, which studies how our closest relationships shape the way we handle stress, fear and closeness throughout life.

From an attachment point of view, many of the patterns that cause us pain started as sensible ways to stay safe or stay connected. A child who learned that her feelings upset the adults around her may grow into a woman who keeps her needs quiet and works hard to keep everyone else comfortable. Those strategies made sense at the time. Years later, they can leave you feeling anxious, exhausted or alone.

EFIT treats emotion as a guide. With support, we slowly move toward difficult feelings so you can understand what they are telling you and respond to yourself in a new way.

How EFIT understands anxiety, burnout and overwhelm

Anxiety often reflects a nervous system that has stayed alert for a long time, scanning for what could go wrong. In EFIT we look at what the worry is trying to protect and what you might need in order to feel steadier. Learn more about anxiety therapy.

Burnout often grows out of years of putting your own needs last. In EFIT we explore what makes it so hard to rest, say no or let someone help, and what feelings come up when you try. Learn more about burnout therapy.

Overwhelm can come from holding many demands alongside emotions you have not had room to feel. We make space for both. Learn more about therapy for overwhelm.

What happens in an EFIT session

EFIT sessions are collaborative and paced with care. A typical session might include:

• Starting with what is present. We begin with a recent moment that felt hard, such as an argument, a sleepless night or a wave of dread before work.

• Slowing the moment down. Together we notice what happened in your body, what thoughts came up and what you felt underneath the first reaction.

• Naming the pattern. We connect that moment to the larger cycle it belongs to, so you can see it more clearly when it happens again.

• Reaching the deeper emotion. Under frustration or numbness there is often sadness, fear or loneliness. Giving those feelings attention, with support, tends to soften them.

• Responding in a new way. We practise meeting your own needs with compassion, and sometimes imagine how you might speak to someone important in your life.

These steps unfold gradually across sessions. Over time, many people find they react less sharply, recover more quickly and feel more like themselves.

How EFIT compares with other approaches

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) focuses mainly on noticing and changing thoughts and behaviours, and it can be very effective. EFIT works with emotion directly and looks at how your relationships, past and present, shape the way you respond to stress. Many clients find that combination helps them understand why the same patterns keep returning even when they know what they want to do differently.

I also draw on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, CBT, Compassionate Inquiry, Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Polyvagal Theory, Solution-Focused Therapy and Somatic Therapy. We use what fits your situation, with EFIT at the centre.

Who EFIT can help

EFIT can be a good fit if you:

• Feel anxious, overwhelmed or burned out and want to understand why.

• Tend to put others first and find it hard to know what you need.

• Notice the same pattern repeating across relationships, at work or at home.

• Feel cut off from your emotions or flooded by them.

• Are in a relationship and want to work on your part of a pattern before or alongside couples therapy.

My EFT training

I'm Jennifer Bartok, a Registered Social Worker with a Master of Social Work from Wilfrid Laurier University. I am trained in Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Family Therapy. My training includes work with Dr. Sue Johnson, Dr. Leanne Campbell, Dr. James Furrow and Gail Palmer, along with an EFT Externship with Robin Williams Blake. You can read more about my background.